Isn’t life all about perspective?
When we are young our parents always tell us to appreciate the fact that we have more than the homeless but when we go out and see people in expensive cars the only thing we feel is having less than the rich.
Why do we feel such a way? Are we are putting too much emphasis on comparison with other people?
In reality, we judge a person's character or looks or intelligence in comparison with their surroundings. A study done by the University of London seems to support the fact that people appear more attractive or less attractive depending on the company they keep (Furl, 2016). This means that in some cases we make biased decisions based on the relative positioning of a person in comparison to the people around them. For me, this is the case more often than not.
Comparisons and competition govern how the world works. From being hired for a job to becoming friends with someone, everything is guided by comparisons. We always want the ideal thing to happen for us, where we create a relationship with the person who seems to be leading the competition. But the inherent issue with this is that there is always someone “better”. For me, personally whenever I achieve a goal, whether it be having a relationship with someone or reaching my dream university, I start finding faults in my initial decision of making that my goal. When I achieve something, I start feeling that what I did was extremely easy and that anyone could do it. Then I start feeling inadequate, wanting to be something more than what I have done or where I am.
This can be perceived as wanting to improve me or seeking constant growth, but that is not the case. Seeking perfection in life, whether it be through goals or relationships is an unending purpose of life. When you understand that it is the imperfections that make you perfect, you start appreciating what you have and where you have reached. Life is all about perspective. Rather than comparing yourself to someone who has been working hard for 20 years and has earned something that you want, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. When your motivation in life is intrinsic, it is very easy to feel satisfied emotionally and isn’t that what we all are seeking.
We think that the $2000 shoes would give us social currency to flex which would make people like us, which would make us feel happy. It might feel good for a minute but that feeling doesn’t last forever and you can’t keep buying the $2000 dollar shoe every minute to feel happy.
The only path to long-term happiness is working on being better than you were yesterday by creating short and easy goals for yourself. Also, we should never romanticize a final destination or an end goal, we should first fall in love with the process of reaching there because it will be a long journey but it is up to us how joyful we make it.
To conclude, I would like to say that comparison is important to live in a world that runs on it, but just remember and sometimes try to view the world from the eyes of a newborn who is yet to learn the rules of this world.
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